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    10 Spectacularly Tacky Floaties That’ll Make Pool Time Sillier Than Ever


    Every summer, swimming pools fill up not only with people, but with an assortment of bobbing, beautiful pool floats on which swimmers can lounge while soaking up some rays. And these days, a giant swan or sparkly unicorn may be among your more boring options for pool furnishings. Yawn!

    Each year, floaties seem to get bigger, crazier, and yes, tackier, too. And this is a good thing, since if there’s any area of the home where tacky works, it’s in the pool.

    To help you add some much-needed silliness to your summer, we’ve rounded up the most outrageous, conversationworthy floaties that you should consider adding to the water. Whether you want to while away hours atop a Whoopee-cushion, in a coffin, or on the coattails of the president of the United States, we’ve got you covered.

    1. For Joe Biden fans

    Have fun in the sun floating on the 47th POTUS.


    Our country is founded on freedoms, one being the freedom to float on whatever you darn well please. So if Joe Biden’s victory in November made you happy, pay homage with a floatie in his honor ($19.99). And if you’re hoping for a bipartisan pool, never fear, there’s a Donald Trump floatie, too.

    2. For true pool sharks

    shark head
    DaDum … DaDumDaDumDaDum!


    Water and sharks simply go together, much like floaties and kitsch. So go ahead, loll through your summer, while floating inside a killer shark ($22.90). We’d rather see a plastic one in a pool over a real one in the ocean anytime.

    3. Got a death wish?

    Float away on the River Styx to the Greek underworld.

    Pom Pom Floats

    Do you like your tackiness with a side of morbidity? Gotcha. Snag a coffin floatie ($75) and get your cadaver on. If people question your dark tastes, point out the happy pink color.

    4. If you’re up for an epic water-gun battle

    Tank floatie
    Perfect for aggressive floaters


    If relaxing in the sun isn’t quite your jam, consider buying this inflatable tank floatie, which comes with a built-in water gun ($81.99). You can even buy two, and do battle with an opponent to see whose aim is more on target.

    5. If you never outgrew Whoopee-cushions

    Whoopee floatie
    You’ll enjoy watching someone plop onto this supersized Whoopee-cushion.


    Fun fact: A Whoopee-cushion is also known as a “windy blaster.” So naturally, it made sense to turn this practical joke device about flatulence into … a pool toy? In the race for tackiest float, we may have a winner. Get yours for $23.60.

    6. If you’ve always wanted your own cabana

    Cabana floatie
    Blowing this cabana up may take awhile.


    Impossibly massive float? Check. Whiff of exclusivity? Check. Now all you need is a pool giant enough to fit a 10-by-7-foot floating cabana ($359). Floating velvet rope not included.

    7. If Fido needs a floatie, too

    Dog floatie
    Fido likes to tan, too.


    You’re floating peacefully in your pool enjoying a dose of Vitamin D, when the other D in your life—your dog—whimpers from the shallow end. Luckily, there’s this dog floatie, actually engineered with the dog experts at Bark ($55.46). Bonus: you can get a matching floatie so nothing can separate you from your furry BFF.

    8. To duke it out like loggers

    To the victor go the floatie spoils.


    We’ve all been there, peacefully relaxing at the pool, when you think, “Hey, I *really* feel like smacking someone with a big stick.” So you do what any normal person does and snag a couple of battle log rafts ($32.99).

    9. If you miss cassette tapes

    tape floatie
    Fast-forward to floatie fun.


    Old technology is all the rage these days. But since it’s kinda hard to defy gravity on an actual LP, grab a cassette-tape floatie instead ($59.99) and enjoy all the old-school music vibes. (Just don’t put a pencil in the center to try to rewind the tape.)

    10. If you dig the Rolling Stones

    tongue floatie
    You’ll never be tongue-tied in the pool ever again.


    Based on the Rolling Stones’ “Forty Licks” album, this pool float ($85.00) has quite the tongue-in-cheek appeal. Rock on, Mick Jagger fans!

    The post 10 Spectacularly Tacky Floaties That’ll Make Pool Time Sillier Than Ever appeared first on Real Estate News & Insights |®.

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